CHEESEBURGER PLEASE

When you think of Los Angeles you probably think "gay" or "too many freeways." And when you think of food in Los Angeles you probably think "tofu" or "gay." But you'd be surprised at how many amazing places in L.A. have really fantastic food. It's almost overwhelming. I'll do my best to share with you the many eateries that are worth making a trip to. Let me begin by telling you about one of my favorites. If you're ever in West Hollywood (it's just West of Hollywood) and you've sold your ass for a bag of nickels and now it's either "get something to eat" or "smoke a little angel dust" go ahead and get high. But then later, when you're dragging your lifeless body out of a gutter, head over to Irv's Burgers (8289 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069...323.650.2456). When you arrive at this tiny meathaven you will be greeted by Sonia, a Korean immigrant whose grasp of the English language can only be trumped by her endless charm and string of medals in the winter games. Sonia runs this operation with her immediate family - all of whom will welcome you like family. After Sonia gets your order - order a number 2, don't be lame - she will offer you something to read and then tell you that you and your cousin should stop living together because you are grown men. Then, after what seems to be an eternity, but in actuality is a completely reasonable waiting period, your double cheeseburger with seasoned fries arrives on a simple white paper plate. Here's the best part: Everything at this place is fresh. The meat, the bread, the tomatos. They slice fresh potatoes to make the fries for chrissake! Holy Shit for Tits!! this is what a buger joint should be! And get this, Sonia also goes the extra mile to make YOU, the consumer, feel extra special, Sonia will add a quick, poor drawing of something that stands out about you (your shitty teeth, bad facial hair, enormous gut, etc,) on to your paper plate in marker next to her trademarked slogan, "Just For You." I am an accomplished food consumer and I can say without any reservations that Irv's Burgers can kick In 'n Out's burgers in the balls any time. Any where. Take the needle out of your arm and get a burger. Stop fuckin around.